2025 Personal Reflection

2025 is almost over and although I have non-stop ideas of grandeur with what I will post on here and what I will say on here, it has come to nothing. My unbelievable fear with regards to posting things here has led to a completely blank page and 3 relatively unused domains.

Which does make me laugh when I think about paying money for this, but hey what can you do.

I have been going through a lot of change this year and although there have been many improvements, my life is still not where I want it to be. Not necessarily a bad thing as I believe that everyone should have goals that they have not yet gotten yet, but I am looking at everything that I am doing and can see where I am falling short.

I moved back home due to debt issues... the debt is now paid off.

I was living at my parents house... I have moved out.

I was drinking myself to death... I have been sober for more than 2 years.

I have been able to work on growing a business and plan to buy this business.

But those are the good things....

I am constantly falling into deep self-pity and depression.

I continue to eat like I may die tomorrow.

I want a significant other, but I wouldn't want to date myself lol.

I fall into laziness/sloth constantly when I get home.

So where to next? Honestly reflecting on this a lot today, and the best thing is that I notice it. I have been reading 'Awareness' by Anthony de Mello and he discusses how althoug we are all spiritual people, most people really don't want to be awake... we want to stay asleep and the fact that I am noticing my flaws and shortcomings is a step in the right direction. If this was 3 years ago, I would go and get a fifth of Jack Daniels Honey, hide it from my then girlfriend and sneak it throughout the night so I didn't have to think about my problems. Easier to live in oblivion than live with my problems and make them right.

Here is to continuing to work on my problems and continue to improve.

Cheers,

PWW